Cultural lessons from Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day might seem like an odd place to learn about Japanese culture—traditional Japanese traditions and festivals might seem more promising. But I believe it can reveal some key insights.

Importing aspects of culture

The most important thing that it reveals is Japan’s propensity to import aspects from other cultures without buying into those cultures wholesale. The Japanese are great borrowers and adaptors, selecting aspects from other cultures that appeal to them and then modifying them.

The Japanese writing system is evidence of this. The kanji were originally borrowed from Chinese, but then two other sets of symbols were subsequently derived from them—hiragana and katakana.

This tendency is evident in how the Japanese adopted Valentine’s Day. The Japanese didn’t take on the whole pantheon of Catholic patron saints, just Saint Valentine. And they modified how his day is celebrated compared with Western countries. Rather than romantic couples exchanging cards and gifts, women give chocolate to the men in their lives.

Surprisingly, many celebrations that are considered Japanese today originated in China. Examples include Hinamatsuri (Girls’ or Dolls Festival) in March, Kodomo no hi (Children’s Day) in May, Tanabata (Star Festival) in July or August, and Obon (Buddhist Ancestor Commemoration Festival) in August. Again, these have all been borrowed and tweaked.

The Japanese also enjoy celebrating certain things on specific days, as the above examples show. And so, it was easy for them to add another celebration on 14 February.

Reciprocity

Another key aspect of Japanese culture revealed by Valentine’s Day is its emphasis on reciprocity. On 14 March, a month after Valentine’s Day, the men reciprocate to the women who gave them chocolate by giving cookies or chocolate in return.

Admittedly, Japanese confectionary manufacturers proposed and promoted White Day. But the fact that it took off is due in part to the sense of obligation (giri) men felt on receiving chocolates on Valentine’s Day. The same tendency to reciprocate is present in weddings, where guests give money to the couple and later receive a gift in return.

Celebrating without knowing meaning

Another thing that Valentine’s Day reveals is that Japanese are quite happy celebrating things while being oblivious to the true meaning behind them. Most Japanese know little about patron saints in general or Saint Valentine in particular. The same holds true for the celebration of Christmas and Halloween in Japan.

Constantly changing culture

Finally, Valentine’s Day reveals that Japanese culture is constantly changing. When I first came to Japan 25 years ago, it seemed to be celebrated more than now, and I was surprised at how much chocolate I received. These days, I’m lucky to get any. It feels like that the popularity of White Day is waning too. It’s a reminder that nothing in Japanese culture is set in stone, and even festivals that are more traditional are gradually changing. For example, the exchange of midyear (ochūgen) and end-of-year gifts (oseibo) seem to be dropping off compared to 25 years ago.

Application to Christianity

These insights from Valentine’s Day can help explain the difficulties Christianity has had taking root in Japan. For a start, it’s not possible to pick and choose certain aspects of Christianity; it’s a package deal that has to be embraced in its entirety. Buddhism has been able to flourish in Japan because it can coexist with Shintoism, whereas Christianity makes exclusive claims.

Furthermore, it’s really important to understand the meaning behind the things Christians participate in. Christmas, Good Friday, Easter, and Pentecost are filled with profound significance that impacts how we live every day and where we will go for eternity. Baptism is far more than an initiation rite—it’s a depiction of the new believer dying to self and being raised with Christ together with overtones of being cleansed from our sins. And the Lord’s Supper represents Jesus’s death on our behalf and our participation in it.

But it’s encouraging to know that Japanese culture is fluid. Just because Japanese people haven’t yet accepted Christianity en masse doesn’t mean that they will not do so in the future.