Observations about men in church: from the Bible and experience

Our church’s congregation has as many men as women, if not more, though we have not tried to attract men particularly. On the other hand, most of our evangelistic events are attended by women. This is because the events are cooking classes, or wreath-making, or other crafts. (I suppose if I did a chainsaw maintenance class, I could expect a few men, and one day I’ll try to pull that off!) And yet the worship service, Bible study, and prayer meeting have either more men or an equal number of men and women. I’m not sure why.

However, I do know that there are things that turn men off and, more importantly, displease God. It is always good to examine our ministry to see if we can do better, and that is the aim of these brief observations. How can we promote a balance of genders in the church in terms of numbers? Gender issues are an emotional topic, and some of what I say might be controversial. So I’ll start on sure ground with observations from the Bible and then leave it up to you, dear reader, when to throw this article down!

Observations from the Bible

① We should not value men more than women. The Bible makes it clear that both are of equal value in the sight of God (Gal. 3:28). The conversion of a man is not a greater event than the conversion of a woman. The angels rejoice equally, and so should we (Luke 15:10).

② God is sovereign in his choices and Jesus himself is the church planter, not us (Matt. 16:18). If there are more women in church on average, this could mean that God has chosen more women to be saved. Has he not chosen the weak to shame the strong (1 Cor. 1:26)? And might this apply to the genders as much as the other categories that Paul mentions? Having said that, Luke shows that the early church was not dominated by one gender: “And more than ever believers were added to the Lord, multitudes of both men and women” (Acts 5:14 ESV).

③ All believers should have a virile faith. Paul tells Christian men and women to “act like men” (1 Cor. 16:13 ESV). This doesn’t mean that women have to bang the table or talk in a deep voice. Rather, all believers are to put on the full armour of God (Eph. 6:11), be comrades in the battle (Rom. 16:3–4), wage war (2 Cor. 10:3), and wrestle (Eph. 6:12). They should be bold in telling the gospel, consistent in trials, cheerful in suffering, courageous in frightening circumstances (1 Pet. 3:6). Their faith should be based on objective truths of the Bible, not subjective feelings or people’s opinions. Many women in the Bible outshine men with their virile faith (e.g., Deborah, Manoah’s wife, Abigail, Bathsheba, and Esther). And along with “sons”, daughters of God share the spiritual inheritance rights as first-born sons (Gal. 4:7).

④ God has ordained male leadership in the church (1 Tim. 2:12). If suitably qualified (1 Tim. 3:8–12), men should be encouraged to lead. It has been a trend in recent decades to ignore this teaching or explain it away. But it comes at a cost to not pay attention to this teaching. Is it surprising if churches where women are in leadership attract more women? And for those who believe that genders are irrelevant in church, why would this issue’s magazine topic even be of interest?

Observations from experience

⑤ The key to any church ministry is to aim for a virile faith in our preaching and teaching. We should clearly and regularly present Jesus as a crucified Saviour and the risen Lord with all the promises related to his salvation, using a straightforward exegesis of biblical texts. This will attract, keep, and grow Christian men and women.

Now, I read somewhere that, in a church where this is not the case, Christian men will more quickly leave a church than women will. I remember the same author said that men have a lower tolerance of teaching based on subjective ideas, religious exercises for their own sake, excessive sharing of feelings (in sermons or in groups), or non-biblical guilt-tripping and will quickly leave. I believe this to be very true.

Before we left South Africa for Japan many years ago, I used to have fellowship with an old Portuguese believer. Marco went to a large evangelical church where the gospel was preached very clearly. He said he liked it because often when he went, he was feeling sinful and sad, but after listening to the sermon, he saw afresh that he was a forgiven sinner and went home joyful with the assurance of salvation. Would Marco like your church?

⑥ All Christians like friendly, cheerful churches. But I think men cope less well with cold and complicated relationships. For example, it is difficult when there is a clear division between nenpai (elderly person) and senpai (more experienced person) among church members, or when one can’t talk to A-san about a subject because they easily get offended. Or even, “You can’t sit there! That’s B-san’s seat!”

So let’s show warmth and openness to men and quickly tell them the gospel if they are unbelievers. They will appreciate our honesty, faithfulness, and love. I try to go out of my way to show affection to the men in our congregation.

⑦ One rather sad observation is that some missionaries and pastors seem to prefer women in their congregations. Japanese women are often more attractive, better mannered, easier to understand, and more deferential than men. Also, I have noticed that when any couple is having marriage difficulties, some pastors routinely assume the man is at fault. This kind of bias is not likely to be blessed with large numbers of men.

⑧ For some reason, the men in our congregation seem to be more deeply humble, conscious of their sins, grateful for their salvation, and easier to correct than the women. This is not to disparage the women, all of whom have a genuine faith and are sincere Christians. But for me, the contrast is very marked. And I don’t know why.

In conclusion, gender differences are a mystery known only to God. But if you have mostly women in your church, perhaps you should ask yourself why. Do you preach clearly and boldly the objective truth of the gospel? Are you warm and welcoming to all, especially men? Are you encouraging spiritual men to take leadership? Let us make sure we faithfully discharge our duty like watchmen on the tower who faithfully warn when the enemy comes. Let us be faithful shepherds who guard the flock with the Word of God and farmers who plant and water the seed.