Lying in Japanese culture

Have you have ever found yourself wondering what a Japanese person is really thinking? Japanese people are renowned for being inscrutable, and they will often say one thing while meaning something totally different. Even Japanese people themselves can have a hard time interpreting what a fellow countryman is saying.

The best way to get to know them and understand how they think is to spend lots of time with them, observing how they react in a wide range of situations. Over time, you begin to develop a sense for what Japanese people are thinking. But even then, you have to infer their thoughts from their words and behaviour; spending time with Japanese people doesn’t provide direct access to their thoughts.

Reading minds by reading novels

But there is a way to peek inside the heads of Japanese people without becoming a mind reader or performing brain scans—reading novels written by Japanese authors (either in Japanese or translation). Admittedly, the people in question are fictional characters, but their thoughts will generally be those of typical Japanese people. This is one advantage that books have over movies: the thoughts of characters are often explicitly described, exposing their inner motives and true intentions behind their words and actions.

The thoughts of characters in novels can be revealing. One thing I’ve noticed is how often characters will tell lies. These lies can be about small things, such as reasons for not accepting an invitation to have a meal, or they can be about big things, such as telling a person diagnosed with an untreatable condition that there’s nothing seriously wrong with them. My impression is that Japanese tend to lie more than Westerners.

Lying differently

But I think there’s a fundamental difference in why Japanese people lie compared to Westerners. Westerners tend to lie to cover up feelings of inadequacy or embarrassment when the truth doesn’t reflect well on themselves. Japanese will often lie for the same reasons. But Japanese also lie out of consideration for the person they are talking to. While Westerners also do this on occasions, it is particularly characteristic of shame-honour cultures, as Jayson Georges and Mark Baker point out: “Words are for the purpose of managing relationships and social identities, not presenting information. Harmony takes priority over ideas. Truth in communication is defined relationally not logically. Being truthful means being loyal in your relationships, respecting others, and helping preserve face.”¹

One example of this is from the novel I Want to Eat Your Pancreas. High school student Sakura only has a year to live because she has pancreatic cancer. But she doesn’t let anyone outside of her family know, even her best friend Kyoko, as she doesn’t want to cause them concern (the following is an excerpt of a conversation with a classmate who discovered her secret.)

“Have you told anyone else [about you having pancreatic cancer]? For example, what did you say to Kyoko?”

“I told Kyoko that I’m in hospital for an appendix operation. And the hospital staff have agreed to play along with that story. She’s quite concerned about me, which makes it even harder to tell her the truth.” ²

Here, Sakura lies about her condition because she wants to avoid making her best friend anxious.

This also ties in with my experience. For example, I was chatting with a keen jogger at church, who would often go for a run for several hours on weekends. His wife asked me if I liked jogging, and I replied it was something I did for my health rather than because I enjoyed it. She responded that I was honest to a fault; the implication being that I might have hurt her husband’s feelings since he loved jogging so much.

Implications

This different attitude towards lying raises all kinds of challenging questions. For example, how should we teach James’s teaching to “let your ‘yes’ be yes and your ‘no’ be no” (James 5:12 ESV) in a Japanese context where ambiguity and white lies are considered virtues? I think part of the answer is to emphasize the second part of Paul’s directive of “speaking the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15). We can’t compromise on the truth when talking to others, but we can develop a greater sensitivity to the effect our words have on others and seek to speak as lovingly and considerately as possible.

1. Jayson Georges and Mark D. Baker, Ministering in Honor-Shame Cultures: Biblical Foundations and Practical Essentials (Downer’s Grove: IVP Academic, 2016), page 66 in Scribd version.
2. 君の膵臓を食べたい 住野よる (双葉社; 2015), 271.