Hospitality, Japanese Style

Last summer, our church hosted a movie outreach event coupled with a meal. The movie was Shiokari Pass, adapted from Ayako Miura’s novel. I thought a selection of Hokkaido specialties would be appropriate for the meal, but the committee asked me to prepare western food in hopes of drawing a wider audience. Since it would be my first time cooking for a large group, I suggested a trial run.

I planned the menu: a baked pasta dish, minestrone soup, green beans with basil and gorgonzola cheese, insalata caprese, and focaccia bread. I translated each recipe into Japanese and had them checked. I purchased ingredients at three different grocery stores. On the day of the trial run, meal preparations took two hours with six helpers. After deliberating on which dishes to use and how to set the table, the committee sat down to lunch. Cries of “Oishii!” rang out around the table.

The next morning, the phone rang. “You worked hard yesterday, and it was delicious. But we’re worried that this meal won’t suit the taste of the elderly guests whom we hope will attend. Would you please consider changing the menu?”

Shock, indignation, anxiety, and sheer exhaustion washed over me, but somewhere in the midst of my frustration came thankfulness as I realized that the church members trusted me with their honest feedback. They cared about our guests, and they wanted to see me grow in my ability to show hospitality to Japanese people. In the end, I made lasagne with seasonal ingredients. I will always remember my friends’ smiling faces as they tried rolling out lasagne noodles by hand for the first time.

Through this experience, I realized that in my study of Japanese cooking, I had overlooked the importance of adapting western recipes to suit Japanese taste. More significantly, I remembered that showing hospitality is not about showcasing my own abilities. I began to consider a style of hospitality that makes Japanese guests feel at home; this is also an important aspect of cultural study.

Adapting western recipes

When it comes to adapting western recipes, here are a few suggestions.

Use fresh ingredients that are in season. 

In the US, we usually cook without regard to the seasons, since we can get most things year-round. However, choosing seasonal ingredients is healthier, more delicious, and more conscious of Japanese values—the seasons play a big part in many aspects of Japanese culture. In order to let those fresh vegetables shine, don’t over-cook. Cooking vegetables quickly at a high temperature or steaming for a short time allows for great flavor, texture, and color.

Don’t try to use too many ingredients. 

Allow each ingredient to be enjoyed separately. I compared two recipes for minestrone: the Canadian recipe called for 24 ingredients, while the Japanese recipe called for 12. Remember that in Japanese cooking, rice is the center of the meal, with simple meat and vegetable dishes, and soup as side dishes. Rather than making a single elaborate dish, consider making several simple dishes to balance the meal with a variety of flavors.

Be careful of spicy foods and strong flavors. 

Especially be careful of flavors unfamiliar to Japanese. In particular, herbs may be unpalatable. If in doubt, consider introducing the strong-flavored ingredient as part of a topping that your guests may add as they like.

Avoid unusual combinations of flavors. 

Even if the individual ingredients are familiar, you need to be careful of the combinations. In my case, mint on a pasta dish was a no-go. It reminded the guests of toothpaste!

Food and style of hospitality should vary according to the guest. If my guests are young and have travelled outside of Japan, I feel confident that most of my recipes will be well received. If I invite elderly guests, I choose simple dishes with familiar, Japanese flavors.

Being a good host

While preparing this article, I asked friends what makes them feel at home when they visit someone else’s house. I was surprised that no one mentioned food. Some mentioned welcoming gestures such as tea. Others mentioned looking after the guest’s needs—does he or she need a ride to the train station or company on the way to the bus stop?

By far the most consistent suggestions were relational. The host should be a good listener, encouraging conversation by asking gentle questions indicating interest in the guests, who may be nervous on the first visit. While delicious food and careful preparations are important, the host should keep things simple and remember that relaxing time spent together with the guests is most important. Before the guests arrive, as much as possible, try to complete the meal so that they are not awkwardly waiting while you are in the kitchen—while my American friends will come right in and chat with me while I’m cooking, my Japanese friends usually won’t.

Reciprocation is important to Japanese people. When guests visit your home, they will likely bring a gift. A younger guest might offer to bring a dish to share. In the US, we might feel that a gift is unnecessary; the invitation to visit and eat together is meant to have no strings attached. However, in Japan, a gift is an appropriate way to show gratitude and to reciprocate the hospitality. After showing appropriate hesitation, accept the gift graciously. Likewise, if the gift is a dessert, unless the guest suggests that you eat it together, save it for later and don’t hesitate to bring out the dessert you prepared. These courtesies show guests that the gift was a surprise (even if it wasn’t), rather than an expectation.

In talking to Japanese friends, I realized that many view hospitality as a sense of necessity and obligation rather than enjoyment of the company of friends. One friend shared that her mother, whose hospitality was widely applauded, found entertaining her husband’s business colleagues and their wives to be stressful. If she made any mistakes, her husband looked bad in front of his colleague, but if everything was perfect, the colleague’s wife, her rival, became jealous.

How, then, do I encourage my Japanese friends towards a style of hospitality that demonstrates the reality that in Christ, we are family? While I want to give my best for guests, I aim to practice hospitality with a simplicity that is easy to imitate. I want each person who enters my home to feel like they belong there. Rather than being invited back to the homes of those we’ve invited, I hope to encourage Japanese Christians to mutually invite each other for fellowship over meals and reach out to those who are not yet part of God’s family.

These are links to Celia’s recipe on her blog:
Japanese: http://keithandcelia.blogspot.jp/2013/11/blog-post.html
English: http://keithandcelia.blogspot.jp/2013/11/my-lasagne.html