Reminders and encouragement

The Kansai Christian Women’s Conference (KCWC) is an annual event that seeks to encourage, support, and nurture Christian English-speaking sisters who live in the greater Kansai area. This year, around 70 women, a handful of babies, and a few supportive men gathered at the Mustard Seed Christian Church building in Osaka on March 4 to sing praises to the Lord, study his Word, pray, and encourage each other. Michelle Jackson shared from the book of Exodus about the transformed lives of Moses and the new nation of Israel through the mighty power of the Lord.

The women who attend the KCWC are from all over the world. Just from the people I met personally, I counted women from five different continents. Many of the women are in Japan because they believe they have been called by the Lord to serve him here. It was humbling to consider the collective miles, years, and tears traveled by all of us to arrive at this specific location. For my own personal story, to arrive in the Kansai region took over 12 years of prayer. And yet I still have nagging doubts about being in Japan. I often have thoughts like “I don’t really want to be here. I cannot communicate effectively. I only speak like a simple child. I have made yet another awkward social blunder. How can I do anything when I have no idea what is actually going on?” Even if I don’t say them out loud, I speak them loudly in my heart. I feel so inadequate.

God’s calling despite our shortcomings

Among the many insightful things that Michelle Jackson drew our attention to at the KCWC conference—one that spoke directly to this issue—came in the first session. As the Lord is calling Moses to go and lead his people up from slavery in Egypt, Moses insists on his insufficiency and meekly replies, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else” (Ex. 4:13 NIV). As this verse was read out loud, the whole room chuckled. Each one of us has felt this in our hearts and cried, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.” When the Lord called Moses, he was fully aware of Moses’s shortcomings and sins. God is the most aware. When we become consumed with our own self-image and shortcomings, we must shift our focus back on the Lord and his great power. Perhaps the task at hand is only to empty the church trash can again, lead a small group in Japanese, or change another soiled diaper, but we have all felt the limitations of our strength, our talent, our willingness, our language ability, or our patience. God calls us in our weakness to his work.

Moses wasn’t equipped to lead Israel to freedom, and God knew this. But Moses was never supposed to lead Israel on his own or in his own strength. The Lord was the one who was to lead Israel to freedom! And the Lord has no shortcomings or lack of ability. He is the central character in his glorious story. We serve with God in his power. He is the one working and moving.

Focusing on God’s strength, not mine

During the workshop session, we broke into small groups to share together and pray for each other. I began my introduction with “Hi, my name is Bethany, and I am not a missionary.” It was an introduction brimming with doubt in myself and a full disclaimer to ease my shame over my inadequacies. My workshop partner stopped me and asked, “Why are you in Japan?” My answer? To share the good news of the gospel and to labor in Japan to build the church of Christ! To love God and to love my neighbor.

Again the Lord reminded me, this is his story, not mine. The solution is simple in principle. Each time my focus turns to myself and what I can or cannot do, I redirect my eyes to Christ and his great strength. I rest in his loving-kindness and trust that he is working.