Christian, counsel yourself

In 2016, I took a course called “Introduction to Christian Counseling” at the Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte, North Carolina. The professor began the course by telling us that in order to counsel others, we must first be able and willing to self-counsel. Christians cannot effectively counsel others from God’s Word without first having sufficient knowledge of the Word to apply it to our own lives.

Mental health care and resources for self-care are difficult to find in Japan, especially if English language resources are needed. When my family arrived in Tokyo ready for our first term in October 2019, we had no idea what challenges were ahead. By the summer of 2020, I found myself in need of all the resources I had at my disposal to care for my own mental health and my family’s. I was grateful for the ways God had already equipped me for this task, but I also prayed for more wisdom and tools. God answered those prayers, and our family has grown in spiritual and mental health over the past five years. Below are some principles I have learned and some useful tools that can help keep your mental health strong.

Be your own barometer

Ministry life is full of challenges, many of which involve a lack of clear dividing lines. When does work stop and life begin? What activities are work, and what are not? How do we define relationships and set healthy boundaries with ministry partners and those to whom we minister? Burnout and other undesirable mental health outcomes are sadly common in ministry settings. No one is immune to things like overwork, being under-supported, or being emotionally drained. It’s necessary for us to keep an eye on our hearts and minds and notice the signs that we may be drifting into unhealthy territory. For some people, it might be noticing that they get irritated or angry more frequently than usual. For others, it might be feeling constantly exhausted, having difficulty sleeping, or experiencing other physical symptoms. It could be feeling less interest or enthusiasm than usual for a favorite activity. Do you know yourself well enough to spot the signs that you are slipping toward trouble? Sometimes reading a list of signs and symptoms of reduced mental wellness can be illuminating. Knowing yourself also means allowing yourself to be known—do you have people close to you who may notice changes or warning signs that you could miss?

Abide

The single most important thing you can do for any endeavor, including your ministry goals or the maintenance of your mental health, is to abide in Christ through prayer and continual feasting on the Word of God. Whether we need wisdom, comfort, discernment, or direction, our Father speaks to us through his Scriptures. Just like eating healthy meals and drinking enough water will help our physical health, tasting of God’s goodness will help us stay spiritually, emotionally, and mentally well. Though practicing a healthy lifestyle cannot totally prevent us from becoming unwell, we benefit overall from consistently choosing to seek that which is for our good. When I start to notice warning signs, the natural first step is to ask myself how I am abiding in Christ and to go to him for wisdom and clarity.

Fill your toolbox

Mental health care resources are available, and they are getting increasingly more accessible. When my family and I needed support for our mental health, I went on a hunt, exploring what was available. Now, I have a toolbox full of things that we can use on an ongoing basis or reach for when the need arises. I’m always on the lookout for things to add to my toolbox. Here are some of the most helpful I’ve found:

• YouTube mental health channels. I especially like Therapy in a Nutshell, run by certified marriage and family therapist Emma McAdam. She has videos on a wide range of topics and even offers whole courses that you can take for free on YouTube or for a reasonable cost on her website.
• Websites run by advocacy groups, universities, counseling centers, and government organizations can be treasured troves of short-form educational material. One of my favorites is Understood.org, which offers advice and support for parents of neurodivergent kids.
• Books, especially those written in recent years by Christian counselors, psychologists, and neuroscientists who examine brain development and behavior from a Christian worldview offer wisdom and practical application.
• Mental health practices like journaling, grounding exercises, breathing exercises, and paying attention to my family’s sleep hygiene (observing principles that promote a good night’s sleep).
• Cultivating a loving community by nurturing friendships and seeking out mentors helps us build a support system that enables greater resilience.
• Various ministries and nonprofits offer free or low-cost training in how to care for your mental health and for those around you. Many such programs are held in-person and might require travel, but some are online. JEMA offers many member care resources.¹

Know when to ask for help

Resources like those above are not a substitute for professional mental health care. It’s vital to know when and how to ask for help. You might ask your friend to help you clean and bandage a cut or apply aloe lotion to your sunburn, but you shouldn’t ask them to set your broken leg or treat your pneumonia! Getting help can mean going to a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. These resources can be accessed through various means, such as a ministry like The Well International, TELL Lifeline, or your sending missions organization (if you have one). When in doubt, speak to a doctor about whether or not there is a need for professional help.

God created us to live an abundant life, but we live in the tension of “already but not yet.” We are new creations taking part in the ongoing reconciliation of this fallen world. Jesus promised us that in this life we would have trouble, but he also told us to take heart because he has overcome the world! Our Lord has given us life-giving intimacy with him, loving Christian communities, and many self-care tools to grow in our emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Let’s do our best to use what God has given to care for ourselves and each other as we seek to glorify and enjoy our great God.

Mental Health First Aid is training the author highly recommends for learning about mental health challenges and how to help people. Access more information at mhfainternational.org.

1. JEMA’s member care resources page lists a number of places you can seek help in Japan and overseas, as well as online: https://jema.org/resources/member-care/