Being like the youngest
A challenge to change how we talk with people might prompt us to consider how we relate to others as missionaries
Several months ago, my pastor was giving me some feedback about how I interact with people at church. It was helpful because he pointed out that I tend to tell them what I know about a given subject in an effort to continue the conversation. Then he asked me what Jesus said to his disciples in Luke’s gospel when they were arguing about who was the greatest.
“‘The greatest among you should be like . . .’ What does he say next?”
“Doesn’t he say, ‘like a servant to all?’”
“That’s what everyone says! Have a look. It’s different in Luke. ‘The greatest among you should be like the youngest’” (Luke 22:26 NIV).
What does it mean to be like the youngest? In particular, what does it mean to be like the youngest when you have come to Japan as a missionary or Christian expat with the intention of encouraging or training Japanese people to live for Christ?
In my case, becoming youngest actually started with becoming aware of something I did in conversations, probably out of habit. I have been blessed with a good memory and come from a family that enjoys conversing about various current affairs, news, and politics. I then became a journalist, where it was my job to “know things” so I could write about them.
This habit had seeped into my conversations, as I could respond as someone who knew something about many things (although I often knew less than I let on). This would mean my response to a Japanese friend talking about something might be “そう、そう (Yes, that’s right)” indicating that I might know something that I could talk about. I would say that to encourage them to keep going, but the danger is that it actually hinders them from continuing as I start talking about the things I want to say.
My pastor encouraged me to answer as someone who doesn’t know anything about the subject but is interested to know more. Saying “へー、そうなん (Really? That’s cool).”
Subtle? Yes. Difficult? Yes, even in my native language. Worth doing? Absolutely, if I want to take Jesus seriously and grow as a disciple who encourages other disciples.
What it comes down to is finding ways to encourage the other person to speak more (which education experts tell us is what they will remember best) and for us to speak less. This tangibly shows that we care about what the other person has to say more than what we might say in response.
This means that we need to be secure in ourselves so that we do not feel threatened when we don’t get to say our bit. This goes back to issues of identity, which I wrote about in the two earlier issues of Japan Harvest. Do we rejoice because we are God’s beloved child? Are we secure in the Lord Jesus, and are we seeking a stronger relationship with him above all others?
The context of the passage my pastor referred to is helpful in understanding this idea of being youngest. Jesus makes his comment because the disciples were arguing about who was the greatest. We can reject the way of gentile kings, who seek to lord it over others, because we are loved by our heavenly Father who has our future secure in the Lord Jesus. Instead, if we are seeking to be great among God’s people, a good place to start may be as a person who is able to encourage others to speak and open up about themselves.
While it may feel we are missing opportunities to teach others initially, I think we (including me) need to trust that Jesus knows what he’s talking about. Whether we are pastors, teachers at a seminary or other school, working with students or at a church, how might we act like the youngest? If we do that, how might it change us and the people around us?