Are you thriving?

Several years ago, I attended the Mental Health in Missions conference held annually in the US and was deeply impacted. I had been a missionary for more than 20 years but had no idea there was a community of experts, scholars, and practitioners who had given their professional lives to the field of member care in mission. This was a gathering of several hundred people who were organized around one primary goal: the flourishing of missionaries so they could fulfill their calling to the Great Commission. I was humbled, moved, and incredibly grateful for these men and women serving so that people like you and me could thrive.

Since the pandemic began in 2020, what it means to thrive feels less clear and straightforward to me. In my work as a counselor of missionaries, I notice I am not the only one. The disruption of our lives and ministries has been extensive. We have had to adjust and redefine repeatedly over these two-and-a-half years. These stressors, piled onto lives already carrying the normal stressors of missionary life, are heavy weights, ones we must acknowledge and tend to well so we can thrive in this moment in history.

Recognizing warning signs

It can be a real challenge to recognize and admit struggles, though. Author Aundi Kolber calls this “white knuckling.” She defines white knuckling as consciously or unconsciously ignoring warning signs from our minds or bodies to cope with situations that are overwhelming or disturbing. Missionary life almost sets us up to become white knucklers. We experience many difficult situations as we engage with a culture different than our own. We may push through our own discomfort to stay the course. But not listening to those warning signs is dangerous, and some may be finding they are no longer able to carry on as they always have.

If you find yourself there, you are not alone. Member care departments and missionary care agencies are receiving an unprecedented number of requests for care these days. This is a good thing, and these three small words can be the beginning of a shift from struggle to strength: “I need help.”

It may be helpful to consider when it’s time to reach out for help. What are some of the warning signs you need to address?

• Emotions that you cannot work through: anger, anxiety, apathy, depression, frustration, grief, sadness, etc.
• Physical symptoms that are not accounted for with medical conditions.
• Relational struggles that cannot be resolved with your usual practices.
• Thoughts or thinking patterns that are unhelpful and unproductive.

In general, when you feel stuck, inviting someone in can bring a new perspective that helps get you moving forward again. Asking for help can also be validating; to be seen, heard, and understood touches the core of what it means to be human.

Circles of missionary support

Best practices in member care remind us that sometimes the help we need is closer to home than we realize. The foundation of care for missionaries is Master care: spiritual connection and vitality in our relationship to our heavenly Father. We must start there, remembering his promise in Psalm 46:1 to be “our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (ESV).

Our next circle of support comes from healthy self-care and mutual care—once again, resources we find nearby. This is a good time to review and revise self-care practices, making sure they align with our current situation. Teammates, friends, local brothers and sisters, and others in our community can be invited in when we need extra support.

There are times when more specialized help is needed. Professional counseling may be indicated, and JEMA offers some possible options for this on their website under Resources > Member Care. Since 2021, one source of specialized help has become more accessible to missionaries in Japan: The Well International. They serve cross-cultural workers in Asia and around the world through clinical counseling, soul care, coaching, training, and events. The Well is now a JEMA-endorsed ministry, and most of the services are available online. This means workers in Japan have better access to the expertise of over 30 professionals from around the world who are committed to helping missionaries thrive.

Learning to thrive

Merriam-Webster Dictionary’s definition of “thrive” is to grow vigorously, to flourish. As we have weathered two-and-a-half years of ministry in the pandemic, vigorous growth may not feel like the definition of our experience. But could it? By paying attention to the warning signs and reaching out for help when needed, I believe we can begin to flourish in our lives and ministries even at a time like this. 

1. Aundi Kolber, Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode—and into a Life of Connection and Joy (Carol Stream: Tyndale Refresh, 2020), 19.