Emotional Roller Coaster
My husband and I had taught English in Japan before, so we didn’t expect too many surprises moving here with our boys last year. But we were wrong!
There were challenging surprises: the community is so trusting that primary school children walk home on their own and play, unsupervised, in the local park. Pleasant surprises: I’d heard Japanese people don’t entertain in their homes, but our neighbours invited us for dinner and offered to help with school notices. Family surprises: sending our oldest son to a strange school with no friends and very little language was more difficult than we imagined. And other surprises every day. But the most unexpected surprise has been my inability to control my reactions. It’s an emotional roller coaster—and I’m not a big fan.
Take Monday and Thursday of last week:
Monday
My son and I choked back tears as we watched news of a cyclone and flooding in our home city. We felt so far away. With heavy hearts we left for school. Exhausted from the morning rush and commute, I arrived at language school, where I struggled to focus and got back my first failed test. After class I had scheduled gym time, but I just wanted to go shopping and escape. After a depressing hour looking at funky clothes that would never fit me (or in my size would look ridiculous), I spent a listless hour at the gym and finally dragged myself home.
Thursday
I woke to happy voices playing with Lego, and relished my morning coffee. I enjoyed the walk to the station, thanking God for rice fields, community gardens, and beautiful old farmhouses nestled between apartment blocks. I enjoyed class, where we experimented with nuance and connotations of new words while using new grammar. A light went on: “Ah ! Now I understand . . . .” Later, I raced through back streets on my mama-chari to a happy son, who chatted in Kansai-ben (to the delight of other mums). I managed a short chat with one mum, answering her questions appropriately (conversational success!). At homework time, my older son gleefully produced a maths test marked 100%.
Strong, mixed emotions
Even just writing this I’m surprised—I’m rational and emotionally stable! I’ve studied and taught about culture shock, including the emotional side effects and coping strategies. Somehow I expected knowing the theory would make me immune to the experience. But I ruefully find myself, as my husband describes, “a passenger to my emotions.” 
Photo by Helen Bobis-LaRonde