Focus on Details
Often we have so much to say we overwhelm our audience by trying to cover too much ground. Sue Nichols writes, “Missionaries try to portray too much of their work in one letter. ‘One of our patients, Phillippe, is showing an interest in the Christian faith. He has asked for a Bible. Another one. . .’”1 But Nichols implores us not to rush on to the next point: “show us Phillippe. To you he is a person. To us he is nineteen vague words. Help us see him, too.”2
It is better to paint a close-up picture, even just a tiny one, to help your readers experience what you’re trying to communicate.
Examples
Search for specific details that give your audience the feeling of being there. Instead of, “We distributed tracts to locals,” try, “While distributing tracts on a gloomy day, we met a young man, Tomo, who asked what we were doing. We gave him a tract and arranged to meet next week for coffee.”
Here’s another example, from a missionary family reporting on some of their home assignment activities: “We have been to the zoo, an indoor swimming pool, numerous playgrounds, and walked in the Aussie bush. Bruce* was finally able to eat a long-awaited Aussie hamburger complete with beetroot and egg!”
They could have merely said, “We’ve been busy enjoying our time in Australia.” But that doesn’t help you understand what they’ve been doing, neither does it grab your attention like trips to the zoo or beetroot and egg on a burger!
Go for a close-up view
Including interesting details, rather than just giving a quick overview, increases our chances of grabbing our audience’s interest.
One way to get into this habit is to ask questions your audience might have. How old is Phillippe? What does he look like? Why is he in hospital? What does he sound like?
When space is limited, we should act like a photographer and go for close-ups with our words rather than a large, blurry image.
*Not his real name.
1. Nichols, Sue. Words on Target, Victory Press, 1970, page 37.
2. Ibid.