Foundational elements that help me thrive

A friend back in California has commented more than once how she loves seeing me thrive in Japan. Now, she knows more than anyone that my life in Tokyo is anything but perfect. I am certainly not always composed and am rarely efficient. But I would like to share a few key elements I believe led my friend to say I am thriving.

Prayer support is essential

Sometimes the most obvious points can be overlooked or not used to their full potential. So I would like to begin with prayer. Like almost all missionaries, I have a regular prayer letter that I send to hundreds of faithful supporters. It is a blessing beyond belief to have so many people praying passionately for Japan. However, my newsletter is typically not very personal, which is appropriate for a large mailing list. While these precious prayer supporters have contributed to my well-being in Japan, I think it’s the prayers of close friends that have really sustained me.

I would not have lasted in Japan without committed friends, both by my side in Japan and back in America, praying with me. I am talking about women of all generations, but especially friends close to my age, holding me accountable to living a holy lifestyle, encouraging me in countless ways, and spurring me on in my relationship with Jesus. Since coming to Japan, I’ve had at least one friend in Japan and one friend stateside who have agreed to be there for me anytime. If my friend in America is sleeping, then I reach out to the one in Japan and vice versa. I am never alone. These are friends who can relate to how I’m feeling and are not only battling with me together in prayer but also know my struggles or have experienced similar challenges.

On top of that blessing, I also have women my mother’s age and close to my grandmother’s age interceding for me. They are available to get coffee with me, or at the very least to email or call. Those who have already walked through their thirties have priceless advice to offer. Every time I meet, talk, and pray with them, it’s like God is bestowing treasures upon me.

It’s vital to have people who know the details of what’s going on in our lives and thoughts. Plus, it’s a joy that helps sustain us in the long term to bring our needs and the needs of close friends before a merciful God. Having friends alongside us will help us endure when we feel like we’ve prayed the same thing close to a million times. Being vulnerable in our prayer requests will help us walk well with Christ. We are not naïve—we know that Japan is a hard place and that none of us are immune to sin or discouragement. So let’s continue making our needs, desires and weaknesses known to those who will pray with us.

The physical matters, too

While I’m sure we all mostly agree on the power of prayer, it may be tougher to convince some of the power of physical activity. However, exercise has played a huge part in maintaining my sanity while living in a foreign country. I truly believe getting a workout into our schedules is also a key to thriving in Japan.

Of course, exercise helps prevent all kinds of ailments and is fundamental for the healthy management of body weight. Beyond these more acclaimed benefits of working out, exercise has had noteworthy effects on my mental health. I’m able to clear my mind of all the cultural mistakes, frustrations, disappointments, and countless other struggles that may come my way. In a sense, a good workout can feel like a reset button, preventing any stresses from overwhelming me beyond what I can handle. It can be a time to mindlessly focus on the exercise (forgetting my cares) or a time of deep reflection (sifting through my thoughts and feelings about those cares).

I know for some, developing a workout routine is the last thing they want to think about, but it can be fun! Running is certainly not for everyone, but walking or cycling are other great ways to enjoy nature and explore new places. Seeing cherry blossoms, hydrangeas, and autumn leaves are some of the most beautiful bonuses to living in Japan. My enjoyment of nature is multiplied when I take the time to get out and exercise in the midst of it, before the crowds come for picnics and pictures. There are also various charity events to motivate you to exercise for a good cause, and exercise can even be incorporated into travel. With friends, exercise can be a great time of discussion or even prayer. For me it has become a critical time of self-care, which I must prioritize if I want to thrive in Japan.

The joy of Japanese

There has never been a time in my life when I wanted to quit as badly as I wanted to give up on Japanese language school. Trying to learn and use Japanese can be exceedingly intimidating and discouraging. But I can say with confidence that any ounce of success I’ve had persevering in life in Japan has been greatly impacted by my decision not to quit learning Japanese.

Many of my most rewarding moments here have been due to the fact that I improved my Japanese. There is something exhilarating about the process of growing in communication with other humans. When we remember the frustration of our language skill limitations, the transformation to meaningful conversations and relationships is astonishing. I typically think about how rewarding improving in Japanese can be in regards to sharing the gospel. That is, of course, invaluable, but my first realization of the ecstasy of improved language skills came from time with another believer.

I truly cherish the memory of my first time having tea with Mai. Initially, because of my elementary Japanese, I found it much easier to interact with Christian friends who had studied abroad or grown up around missionaries. Mai had neither experience, and her English was extremely limited. She didn’t let that stop her from getting to know me, though. Over the months, we got by with gestures and even exchanged letters at one point to get across what we really wanted to say. But before I knew it, there I was at a second-floor café on Nakamichi-dōri in Kichijoji, bonding with Mai. Admittedly, I think I misunderstood. If I recall correctly, she ended up having pasta, but I thought we were meant to just have tea! But despite months of confusing exchanges leading up to that moment, that day I had deep, heartfelt fellowship with my sister in Christ.

Times like this are priceless. I rode away on my bicycle in sheer joy. It was so deeply satisfying to have connection with a dear friend. Before, that bond had been hardly plausible, and when our relationship reached a whole new level, it felt like a dream come true. That was possible primarily because I didn’t give in to the temptation to drop out of Japanese school. It was worth every tear to keep at it because it allowed me to get to know Mai in her native language, our only common language. Moments like this have carried me through the tough times, bringing a great deal of joy and delight into my life. I think it would be hard to thrive without those moments.

So while Japan can be a difficult place to live and minister in, we can certainly thrive here. This concept of thriving may be a fluid concept, and it doesn’t mean we have it all together. But with prayer partners, exercise, and improving Japanese language skills, our friends will see that we’re doing quite a bit more than just getting by in Japan.