God is transforming me through Japan

As we approach the final lap of our journey in Japan, I want to testify that God has been so faithful to me through the years. I love the facet of God’s faithfulness that is seen in 1 Thessalonians 5:23–24: “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (ESV).

God wants to transform us—completely! Romans 8:29 tells us that “For those he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.” Becoming like Jesus—that’s sanctification! Because he is faithful, he will do it. That’s a process that takes a lifetime.

God began his work of transforming me by placing me in a Christian home, fifth child out of six and the fearful one of the bunch. Sometime during those early years, I accepted Jesus as my Savior, but my fears only seemed to intensify as I grew. Some strong but kind words from our family doctor helped change the direction of my life: “Eileen, if you say that you are a Christian, you need to get serious about trusting him with all of your life.”

After our first year of marriage, my husband, Dave, and I were challenged to consider becoming missionaries to Japan. Immediately, my fears kicked in. No! Not Asia! I would feel much “safer” going somewhere in South America. And I could never learn Japanese. But as I humbled myself and began to pray about Japan, God changed my heart, giving me the desire to follow him even to Japan. And I’ve never been sorry!

Several years later, on our fifth wedding anniversary (August 2, 1985) our little family of four left rural Kansas for the big city of Yokohama.

Hindsight informs me that God not only brought me to Japan to share Jesus’s love and forgiveness with Japanese people; he also brought me here to continue transforming my life! At the last Kanto spring retreat for WIM (Women in Ministry), I shared just a few of the many works of ongoing transformation that God has been doing in my life:

1) Self-worth: from comparison with others to embracing what God says about me.

After arriving in Japan, a problem of comparison that I had carried with me for many years became even more glaring. I had grown up with an older sister whom I greatly admired. She was outstanding in every way, and I wanted to be just like her. When comparing myself with her, I always felt like I was never good enough.

When we crossed the ocean to do ministry in Japan, I was more than ready for a fresh start, with full intentions of leaving those feelings of comparison behind. But no, the qualities that I admired (and envied) in my sister were found in many of my new colleagues! And without realizing it, I began to compare myself with teammates, feeling that I wasn’t measuring up, leading me to build walls between us. I pleaded with God to free me from this awful shadow that hindered me from going deeper in relationships. But I just couldn’t seem to get victory.

Then one day, God, in his loving faithfulness, answered my prayer. C. J. Mahaney sums up my discovery well in a quote from The Cross Centered Life: Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing:

On a daily basis we’re faced with two simple choices. We can either listen to ourselves and our constantly changing feelings about our circumstances, or we can talk to ourselves about the unchanging truth of who God is and what He’s accomplished for us at the cross.”¹

God was inviting me into an act of abiding 24/7 in him, drawing from him my identity and worth as his child. This was not simply a once-for-all change, which I would have preferred. Instead, it was a moment-by-moment choosing to think his thoughts. God must be my source of self-worth. I must embrace what he says about me!

2) Source of strength: from leaning on myself to leaning on God.

My big fear in coming to Japan was learning the language. I knew it was impossible for me. It didn’t help that we came with two babies and had two more during our first term, which was supposed to be dedicated to intensive language learning! But God provided just the right tutor who helped me begin to conquer my fears and learn Japanese.

In my effort to understand and speak Japanese, God desired for me to humble myself before him. He continues to give opportunities to acknowledge my weaknesses and his strength. He gives me the chance to put to death the innate pride that loves to protect myself and to be admired. Joni Eareckson Tada said, “The weaker we are, the harder we must lean on God. And the harder we lean on him, the stronger we discover him to be.”² In my weakness of language, I am still learning to lean hard on God. Part of his work of transforming me is reminding me how desperately I need him to communicate with the people around me. It is a daily reality that without him I can do nothing. He must be my source of strength in handling this difficult language. And he has faithfully done just that—given me strength!

3) Source of control: from what I thought was best to what God knew was best.

When we landed at Haneda Airport back in 1985, I arrived with two big “nevers.” I would never put my children in Japanese schools, and I would never put them into boarding school. I had been trained as an elementary teacher and was convinced that I was ready and qualified to homeschool my children.

But God’s plan was that both the local Japanese school and boarding at CAJ (Christian Academy of Japan) would become a beautiful part of my children’s education! That didn’t happen without a battle since I was determined that I knew what was best for my kids. God faithfully began to expose the pride in my heart and the unwillingness to trust God with my family. It was a long process, but I remember clearly the evening when I opened my hand to God that was clutching my kids so tightly. Surely he loved these children better than I did and would do what was best for them. Through the process of releasing my precious children to him, he was continuing his work of transformation, making me more like Jesus.

In his faithfulness, God is not willing to let us continue to have that illusion of control. He desires for us to trust his control. He is faithful and he will do it. He will make us like his Son!

4) Source of love: from myself to God.

After the 2011 Tohoku triple disaster, we moved from the Kanto area to a town outside of Sendai in Miyagi Prefecture. Although we were able to reach out to many broken people who had lost so much in the tsunami, God still had a work of transformation to do in me. One necessary lesson was to learn to love with Jesus’s love.

Soon after moving to Tohoku, I met Y-san, a lonely and needy neighbor lady. She responded quickly to my invitations to our home and eventually to church.

One summer day, we led Y-san in a prayer to believe in Jesus as her Savior, and we could see a joy and new light in her once-dark face. But after we returned from our home assignment in the US, she adamantly told me that she had quit Christianity. How disappointing! We had invested so much into Y-san. Now it all seemed in vain.

I decided to move on. But God seemed to say, “Can you love her anyway? Is your love unconditional, like mine?” And so, surrendering my longing for Y-san’s positive response to Jesus, I determined to continue loving her with Christ’s love, no matter how she responded. I still believe God is very interested in Y-san’s salvation, but God also continues to teach me what his love really looks like.

God must be my source of love; my own power to love is never going to be enough.

I am still a work in process. As I look back on almost 40 years of life and ministry in Japan, I can testify that God has been faithfully showing me my heart, sanctifying me, making me more like him, and, amazingly, even using me in his transforming work in others.

The one who called us is faithful; he will surely do it! He will sanctify us completely. Praise God!

1. C. J. Mahaney, The Cross Centred Life: Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing (Colorado Springs: Waterbrook Multnomah, 2006), 36.
2. Joni Eareckson Tada, The God I Love: A Lifetime of Walking with Jesus, read by the author (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003), audiobook, 14 hrs., 20 min.