Strength to fulfil the call

A young, gifted couple worked hard at learning the Japanese language, they served faithfully in their church, and diligently shared the good news of Jesus. But at the end of their first term they returned to their home country tired and near burnout. Sadly, they did not return to serve in Japan.

Is this a familiar story? Do you want to know what can make you more resilient, more able to cope with the challenges of life? Recently, I was able to attend a workshop on this theme. Tony Horsfall, freelance trainer and retreat leader, and Debbie Hawker, clinical psychologist and missionary support worker, led the retreat based on their new book: Resilience in Life and Faith: Finding Your Strength in God.

What is resilience?

Resilience is currently a popular concept. It is the ability to:

• recover from disappointment,
• stand firm during opposition,
• recover well from hurt or injury, and
• keep going to the very end.

These are helpful ideas, but for the Christian who knows that their strength is in the Lord, we also need to orientate our thinking towards God. Karen Carr provides a helpful definition: “Resilience is having strength to fulfil the call God has given us, even when it will be painful and difficult. Resilience is staying fixed on a higher purpose, motivated by love of God, our neighbor, and the world, and supported by friends. While others let us down, we are carried by the One who called us.”¹

How can we increase our resilience?

Horsfall and Hawker advocate a model they call SPECS and argue that if we consider how to become healthier in five areas we can increase our overall resilience. I have found it a helpful tool for preparing for whatever life is going to throw at us next. What are these five areas?

Spiritual—connecting with God

We know that staying spiritually healthy is the foundation for our resilience, but we don’t always act on that knowledge. The spiritual foundations we build as part of our daily lives are what help us to stand in the storm. How do you nurture your spiritual life? What helps you keep going spiritually? Do you make time and space in your life for these things?

If we are secure in our identity as children of God, chosen and forgiven, then we can stand secure in the knowledge that God is with us and holds us, even as the waves buffet us. Tony Horsfall tells the story of an 80-year-old lady who abseiled for the first time from the roof of a traditional church building in order to raise money for a good cause. When asked, “Were you scared?”

She replied, “There is no need to be scared when you know you are safe, when you know you are being held.” Are you secure in the knowledge that you are held by God?

How would you score your spiritual health out of 10?

Physical—looking after your body

We are created as physical beings and we know that our physical state affects our spiritual and emotional well-being—it’s harder to be resilient when we are tired, in pain, or ill. However, some of us live with ongoing health issues or disabilities. Physical resilience is not about achieving Olympic standards, but about stewarding the bodies the Lord has given us to help our overall resilience. I’m sure that most of us know how to improve in this area, but maybe we need something to remind us or accountability with others. If we really struggle for time to do these things, maybe it points to systemic issues that need addressing (see below).

Are you getting regular exercise? Sufficient sleep? Do you have a regular Sabbath and build margin into your week? Are there small steps that you could take that would make a big difference?

How would you score your physical resilience out of 10?

Emotional—managing your feelings

Your current issue may be ageing parents, a child not settling at kindergarten, or a colleague’s insensitivity. We are all emotional beings with emotional struggles. Emotional resilience does not mean no emotions. Instead, it means having healthy ways of handling our emotions.

I find it helpful to journal to process what I am thinking and feeling. This has the added benefit of helping me remember both what I felt and how God helped me. The Bible is full of encouragements for us to be honest with God about our emotions and to remember what God has done for us. It’s such a blessing to us when we do this.

What have been your predominant emotions recently? Do you take time to notice them? How do you handle disappointment? What helpful strategies do you have for coping with difficult emotions? Is it talking, crying, or recreation? Have you tried lamenting² or slow breathing? Do you need to seek help?

How would you score your emotional health out of 10?

Cognitive and creative—renewing your mind and using your creativity

We can build healthy cognitive habits by being conscious of what we are thinking. Take problem-solving for example. Are you someone who does your best to find solutions to problems and who sees God’s hand at work? Or are you easily discouraged and tempted to see all the negatives?

Poor problem-solving skills and not maintaining a faith-filled perspective can lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair. Skills like identifying the problem early and understanding its root cause, as well as considering a variety of possible solutions, are all covered in the book and can help us avoid those destructive feelings.

Horsfall and Hawker include other areas to consider including mental flexibility, life-long learning and expertise, choosing to focus on Biblical truths, and challenging unhelpful thoughts.

Our Creator God made us creative beings and so it is not surprising that being more creative in our thoughts and actions can increase our emotional health. Hobbies such as drawing, singing, craftwork, or photography are not only beneficial in themselves, but they also release emotions creatively.

Our imaginations can also aid us in resilience. I liked the story of one missionary who served in a land-locked country but whose favourite way to relax was to go to the beach. She decided to take a bowl of warm water, put her feet in it, and imagine that she was at the beach! What creative solutions might help you?

How would you score your cognitive and creative health out of 10?

Social and systemic—building supportive relationships and modifying your environment

Have you ever been encouraged by a colleague who has brought you a meal or taken your kids out when you were sick? We all know that it’s easier to be resilient when we have friends and/or family around who can help, whether practical or emotional. Resilience is also affected by social things—our relationships and environment. In a similar way the health of teams and communities of which we are part of can affect our overall health.

How well supported are you? Who do you turn to for help? What relationships need work, deepening, or healing?

In my own ministry and leadership, I’ve found it helpful to add a third “S”—strategic health. Do I know what I am doing and why? Does my organisation support what I am doing? Do I know where I am heading?

How would you score your social and systemic (and strategic) health out of 10?

How resilient are you?

On our first home assignment I was asked to draw a diagram to represent how healthy I felt I was in each of the five areas. I chose to draw a diagram of a flower with each petal representing a different area. At first, I drew my “emotional health petal” quite a reasonable size, but as I continued to think about it the size shrunk. Eventually I had a very small emotional petal, and I realised that if I was to thrive in Japan, or even return, I needed to take action so that my emotional needs would be met. I was able to put some things in place and I continue to learn how to build my resilience here in Japan.

I challenge you to take the time to consider your health in each of these areas. You could draw a bar chart, or copy my simple flower idea, to represent your relative health in these areas. What could you do to improve your health in these areas? If you prefer a more scientific approach, then I recommend the questionnaire at the end of Horsfall and Hawker’s book.

In addition, the book also looks at how we can help our children be more resilient, as well as chapters on Biblical characters that display each of these areas of resilience. I highly recommend this book.

1. Karen Carr, “Personal resilience,” in Trauma and Resilience, eds. Frauke C. Schaefer and Charles A. Schaefer (Condeo Press, 2012), 93.
2. Christina Fox, “The Way of Lament,” May 6, 2016, https://www.ligonier.org/blog/way-lament/