The adjusting missionary

These are the words of a female missionary:

I want so much to belong. Sometimes I think I kind of belong and then I realize that I really don’t belong. The scary thing for me is that I don’t belong in America. I go back to America and I am totally out of it and I don’t feel like, in America, that I belong. So it’s like I don’t belong anywhere. . . . Oh, not belonging is the hardest thing to deal with in my 19 years here.

Analysis of the individual journeys of forty missionaries serving in Japan from sixteen different mission agencies has revealed noteworthy and often surprising adjustment patterns.¹ Unfortunately, it takes 7.8 years for the average missionary to adjust to Japan! The statistics are discouraging; in fact, many career missionaries end up only staying two terms, meaning they leave the field just as they are about to finally begin to feel more at home and able to move towards effective ministry.

Fortunately, there are some significant factors that can greatly aid the missionary. Understanding the particular cultural challenges of the missionary and the unique factors that aid the adjustment process can greatly help the adjusting missionary and those of us who coach, train, and mentor new missionaries. This article will look at the importance of unique community in the missionary adjustment process.

Cultural struggles of the adjusting missionary

One of the qualitative research methods I have employed is called metaphor analysis. We don’t always have the right words to use when we are describing a process or our feelings, and we choose metaphors that can best summarize our situation. As I examined the responses of missionaries in my interviews with them about their adjustment process, I analyzed the metaphors that each one used, looking for common threads and themes to describe the journey. Three images repeatedly came out to show how missionaries feel while adjusting to Japan:

• Missionaries feel “outside of the club” before they have adjusted.
• Accepted/gaining entrance—The process of adjusting for the missionary is that of moving from the outside to the inside; once the missionary feels adjusted, he/she feels “on the inside.”
• Guest/home/key—The missionary adjustment process is like a movement from being a guest outside of a home to moving into a home.

The adjusting missionaries have the feeling of being on the outside, of not being welcomed in a deeper sense into this culture where they choose to make their home. There is often a feeling of loneliness and being disconnected; the extreme cultural differences between Japan and a Western missionary’s own culture contributes to the sense of isolation during the process of adjustment. Here are four cultural challenges for Western missionaries.

Strong group mentality

The group mentality is the foundation of the Japanese society. One missiologist states of this culture, “Social relationships always take priority over individual relationships.”² The group mentality and dependence on those within the group begin from early childhood socialization and extend throughout adult society. Thus, being on the inside of the group is of utmost significance to the Japanese. Although there is no conscious desire on the part of Japanese people to exclude missionaries from belonging, this island-nation mentality does not resemble the values of the “melting-pot-American” way of living. It is no wonder, then, that missionaries seeking to find a home of security, identification, and connectedness have such a great struggle in Japan.

Indirect and hierarchical system

The Japanese system of building relationships through hierarchical structures often flows contrary to Western standards of fairness or rational thinking. Missionaries realize that, even though they are studying the language and perhaps have read some books on culture, there are still invisible governing laws that command the formation of relationships. As one missionary stated, “You want to be so nice and you don’t quite know how to do it because there is a whole different set of rules.”

For missionaries who seek to build relationships as a means toward evangelism or who want to find a place to belong, it is disconcerting to not know the rules or to discover that the rules are very different from what one may know. Missionary men, in particular, expressed frustration in never being able to form deeper relationships with Japanese men. The strong value North Americans place on equality clashes with the Japanese choice of inequality in relationships.

Form over function

Both male and female missionaries struggle with the frustration of the Japanese need for proper appearance over truth, form over correctness. Foreigners coming to Japan will not only initially be outsiders from the group, but they will usually not understand the socialization process that has been an ongoing learning process since childhood. Whereas individualistic cultures can permit fluid boundaries and new people entering, collective cultures like Japan have a much harder time allowing people who do not know the rules into the group. The need to follow a certain form, which may not make sense to the Western missionary, can cause excessive stress and prolong the missionary’s sense of being on the outside and not even knowing the right key to get inside.

The Japanese church

While certainly not intentional, many adjusting missionaries find their new experience of serving in a Japanese church to be an alienating or negative force in their adjustment. This difficult experience can be exacerbated by the surprise of not having expected the problem. They are often disheartened that their Japanese church is not what they had expected. Language and culture create numerous challenges for the missionary adjusting to an established Japanese church, but one of the main things we need to recognize is that it is almost always difficult in any context in Japan for an outsider to find acceptance in an already established entity. It doesn’t make the Japanese church bad or insensitive, but this is simply a reality that can create challenges for the missionary.

Preventing alienation by creating communitas

When missionaries arrive in Japan, they quickly realize that who they were in their home country does not matter very much. Most are, in a sense, starting over. The inability to communicate, read, or write quickly removes any airs of importance from a missionary. Thus, they are thrust into a situation where their past relationships, formed within the structures of their home society, are no longer significant in defining who they are. They must start from a more basal and undifferentiated level to create relationships.

The adjustment process for missionaries occurs most quickly and effectively when they are given a chance to belong. Because the challenges of belonging in Japan are uniquely difficult, as discussed above, it takes intentionality and an understanding of the need for community to help the adjusting missionary jump this high hurdle. The concept of communitas is an anthropological term that describes what happens with a group of people who are all in the midst of adjusting, starting something new, and being stripped of hierarchical structures. If a new missionary can become part of something new that is starting, they have a much better chance of finding acceptance, belonging, and therefore, adjustment to Japan. Here are several places where missionaries find acceptance and belonging, assisting in moving past the initial challenges of isolation.

Experiences of communitas with other foreigners

Language school

Although it is considered grueling and painful by many missionaries, language school is often the context where communitas initially occurs for many missionaries. Many language school classes are full-time and contain other expatriates who have recently come to Japan and are experiencing similar surprises, difficulties, and joys in adjusting to Japan. Most importantly, all have been stripped of their previous status; there is a level playing field for bonding to happen.

Missionary small group

The small group experience (with other missionaries, expats, or Japanese) has served as a vital place for communitas to happen. The two most significant qualities of these experiences are forming relationships with others in the same boat who could go through the fire together and finding a place of belonging, acceptance, and encouragement. This feels crucial for the missionary’s growth and movement forward. Paul Tournier, known for his work in pastoral counseling, writes, “Jesus himself sought support from three of his disciples when he faced the greatest renunciation in his life, the acceptance of the Passion and the cross. He did not ask for their advice. . . He asked them to watch with him, and pray . . . I am often amazed at the progress that can be made by a [person] when he finds real support.”³

Missionaries are searching for connectedness and for acceptance. Because the adjustment process involves lack of structure and status, a spiritual oasis and a bond of being with like-minded people becomes life-giving for many missionaries who otherwise may be facing a life crisis.

Experiences of communitas with Japanese

Missionary moms with young kids

One of the most interesting settings for communitas to occur among young moms was in the midst of sending their small children to Japanese nursery schools/kindergartens. In Japan, the yōchien system is complicated, expensive, and time-consuming for mothers. Many moms new to the system liken it to a full-time job—having to prepare just the right snacks and lunches, dress their child in the proper uniforms each day, and attend the many meetings and functions and school trips. Yet it is here that many missionary moms have found unlikely communitas among the other moms: “[The young Japanese moms] made us feel a part of everything . . . I didn’t end up feeling lonely because they made a real point of making us feel like we belonged.”

Japanese and missionary moms are thrown together into a new life stage where, like their children, they are new and learning together. It serves as a bridge into the wider Japanese community for the missionary mother, a means for learning more Japanese language and culture, and an “in” into the usually tight community. I made my best Japanese friend when my daughter started yōchien; Natsuko guided me through many of my challenges, including the surprising excrement tests we needed to perform on our children, and we became lifelong friends. She brought me into the group and helped me to feel at home.

Church planting community

Church-planting projects, or starting new small groups or cell groups, provide a unique opportunity for new missionaries and Christian Japanese to bond together based on their mutually new assignments, being thrown together into a new situation.

“[These three women from my church] were helpful and encouraging and hospitable and just did so many fun things together—it was very precious.”

“[Involvement in cell groups] was a lot of sharing—this person’s pouring out their heart and I have no idea why they’re crying—and it’s a good motivation for learning Japanese to really understand their hearts, so when you felt like you could bond with this people—that’s when I started adjusting—feeling like I had my community in Japanese people.”

The Japanese and foreign members join together in a new project that puts everyone together, on the inside, from the beginning. These experiences of bonding between the missionaries and the Japanese church members serve as a unique bridge that aid greatly in adjustment.

Conclusion

While there are many different types of communitas that can help the adjusting missionary find help towards adjustment, I would suggest that the best possible scenario to help missionaries adjust is to give them the opportunity to be placed in a group with Japanese who are starting something new. Church planting or other outreach teams form the ideal setting for missionaries to learn language, culture, and be part of the inside of a group that has not yet gelled. The new team can learn and grow together, with the missionary being part of the inside from the beginning.

There are other options as well for missionaries working in churches that are not doing church planting. During our first two years as a married couple in Japan, Eric and I were working with a larger church in Sendai. As we began meeting our neighbors, we made a plan with some of our church members to start an evening English class in our home. This became much more than just a class—we had frequent barbecues, informal tea times with the ladies, and long times of fellowship into the night. We discovered that many of our neighbors were fairly isolated and not already belonging somewhere else; our gatherings became a place of identity and bonding for all of us. More than at our church, Eric and I found this to be a wonderful place for communitas, language learning, and friendships to form. (And two of our neighbors became Christians during that time!)

The missionary adjusting to Japan has a great number of challenges, with the huge overarching challenge being the human need to move from being on the outside to being on the inside. The best setup for missionaries to find a key to feeling “at home” in Japan is to be part of an experience in which hierarchical structures are removed and everyone is able to be part of starting something new. Understanding the need to place new missionaries into opportunities for communitas can make a huge difference in their adjustment process and ministry effectiveness. JH

1. Susan Plumb Takamoto, “Liminality and the North American Missionary Adjustment Process in Japan,” (PhD diss., Fuller Theological Seminary, 2003), 378.
2. John Offner, Relations that Succeed: Establishing and Maintaining Excellent Social Connections, (HarperCollins, 1988), 75.
3. Paul Tournier, A Place for You: Psychology and Religion, (Harper & Row, 1968), 180.
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