The fainting public speaker

In one of my early memories of public speaking, I remember gradually being enveloped in a fog and feeling dizzy as I spoke to my high school peers about friendship in a youth meeting of our church. I broke out into a cold sweat and felt nauseous. The 40 or so listening to me became blurry. Recognizing I was not doing well, my youth pastor had someone take me to another room to sit down. I suppose he took my notes and finished my talk.

I’ve always been very nervous speaking in front of others. I’m a quiet, introverted type of person. That experience in my youth group was the first of at least five times when I’ve had to stop speaking because I was on the verge of passing out.

On one occasion I was at a church to talk about ministry in Japan and hoping to raise financial support. I finished my last comment and then woke up sitting down. The assistant pastor had seen me swaying near the end of my presentation and had actually caught me as I was going down and dragged me to the chair. I don’t remember any of that—just my nervousness before and during my talk.

I kept pressing on. I have received encouragement from many people: Prepare well, be confident in the message God gave you, don’t forget to breathe, get plenty of sleep and be sure to eat something. To get to Japan was going to require public speaking. In Japan, I would speak at camps, hi-b.a. clubs, and occasionally at churches. I would speak in both Japanese and English.

Some people have told me that my publicly spoken words have encouraged them. Some Japanese students in the Kansai hi-b.a. ministry even nicknamed me “Professor.” All credit and praise belongs to God. I know I’m not a naturally talented speaker. I guess that’s why I love the kingdom of God—so often, God uses our weaknesses to make the biggest impact.

I try to find ways to be with non-Christian Japanese on their turf. In December 2018, I discovered a Toastmasters meeting in Sendai that met at a time I was free. Toastmasters is a group for people who want to improve their public speaking. The Wednesday night Sendai Toastmasters meeting is a group who give speeches in English. I am absolutely amazed at the ability of the members of this group. Only three or four of the 40 members are native English speakers. And yet week after week the members give interesting talks on a great number of subjects from personal childhood experiences to politics to the first underground train in Sendai.

I decided I would make it known I was a Christian but would not preach. One man mentioned in one of his speeches that he did not like Christianity because it was similar to Communism and caused many problems in the world. Many people looked toward me when he said that. I simply smiled and took some notes.

When I touched on biblical stories and principles in a speech entitled “Jesus, the Kind Rebel,” this same man said, “I really like to hear you talk about religion and Christianity.”

Another person wrote in feedback comments on my speech entitled “Servant Leadership,” “Your speech always contains meaningful and philosophic content with attractive delivery. I am deeply intrigued.”

Alone, I am incapable of creating and delivering speeches like that. God has taken one of my weaknesses, allowed me to gain experience, sent many encouragers and positive models, and given me opportunities to boldly trust him to work.