“Such as I have, I give you”

When having conversations with single women in Japan in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, the topics of romance and sexuality come up quickly and continuously. This “good thing” has been elevated to the pinnacle of life for so many, both believers and nonbelievers.

How do we disciple people in this area? After hearing someone share their desires, responding with “Just hold on until marriage” is not sufficient. Alternatively, simply saying “Jesus is enough,” while being true, is not sufficient discipleship.

Having real conversations, even about uncomfortable topics, and having them often, is key to pressing into Jesus ourselves and freely sharing with others how he shows himself to us in our daily lives.

A pivotal day

At a church one Sunday, I met a Christian Japanese woman in her 30s. She shared her desire to be married, and we spent some time praying for each other. She cried as I prayed for her—it was a deep and meaningful conversation. Yet I felt strangely unsettled as I walked away, and I asked God why. The story of Peter and John’s interaction with the man asking for money came to mind:

He asked for alms and held out his palms

And this is what Peter did say:

‘Silver and gold have I none,

but such as I have give I thee.’

(song lyrics based on Acts 3:6)

As I prayed into it, I realized that, in this scenario, the “silver and gold” that we were asking God for was the practical, human solution to the desire we felt—marriage. But, as in the story in Acts, there was something that God knows we need even more for the deepest longing of our hearts that cannot be fulfilled by anything on Earth, even marriage. And that thing, I knew immediately, was intimacy with him. And I realized that I did not have this myself, not to the depth I want and need. The thing she needed I could not give her because I did not carry it myself. Wow!

This set me on a focused pursuit of spiritual intimacy. This was for myself but also not just for myself so that next time, I could be like Peter and say, “I can’t give you what you are longing for, but what I do have, I give to you! The intimate closeness of walking with Jesus throughout the day—of knowing him and knowing he knows you—is real and an invitation for each of us!”

A practical discipleship tool

I felt led to record my journey of personal discipleship in the area of purity and share it with the body of Christ. I shared this journey in depth in the “55 Day PureHeart Challenge for Women” and a condensed version in five parts in “The PureHeart Challenge” on Youversion for both women and men (https://onfire.jp/en/pureheartjapan).

My vision is that every Christian would know Jesus as first place in their life and walk in freedom and wholeness in God’s design for their sexuality and relationships, that they can give freely what they have found in him to those around them, and that each person would be a “fire starter” of purity in Japan!

After these bilingual Bible plans I wrote were put on YouVersion, I was blown away by the response: nearly 50,000 people subscribed in the first several months. It showed me how many Christians struggle in the area of their sexuality.

Here are some of the Japanese testimonies (translated):

I’ve struggled in the area of sexual purity since my teen years. Being brought up in a Christian family, I knew what I was doing was wrong and wanted to change, but I kept going back to it no matter how determined I was. I started the Pureheart Challenge five months ago, and it was so eye-opening. The author shared her own story and her journal entries, and it made me feel like I was not the only one going through this struggle. N, 20s

I learned that God’s love is powerful and complete. I want to know and experience God’s love clearly. I’ve discovered that having a healthy heart in a love relationship with God makes all relationships healthy. T, 40s

God told me I’m clean—that my sins are whiter than snow. N, 40s

God showed me that this single life was a wonderful time given to me, a time to know and improve and polish myself, a time to deepen my personal relationship with God and to remain in his love. More than finding a partner, it was about deepening my relationship with God, knowing that he has a plan for me and that he loves me deeply. Y, 20s

The gold in walking together

The PureHeart Challenge Discipleship Tool is intended to help initiate deep conversations on these difficult topics with those we are walking together with. There are dozens of deep questions that lead the person to go before Jesus with the entire contents of their hearts. There is gold that comes with sharing with someone as you go through the challenge—sharing what God has been showing you, sharing your struggles and prayer requests.

We asked registrants, “What was it like to share with your friend?” Here are some of their answers:

Before starting the PureHeart Challenge, I was heartbroken and stuck in sexual sin. I invited some girlfriends and we started the journey of vulnerability together. The PureHeart Challenge was the tool I needed to remind me who God is and who I am in him. Through the daily scriptures and testimonies, the Holy Spirit worked his healing in my heart and I began to walk in the intimacy with God that I had been missing. My sisters in Christ also experienced healing as we shared with one another. M, 30s

It reminded me that I am not alone. I have sisters who have gone through similar experiences. D, 50s

It was a way to grow closer through knowing each other’s personal experiences and thoughts. S, 20s

I learned that I am not alone and others are struggling with sexuality. I, 40s

It was so encouraging to know that there are Christians who are struggling with the same issues. K, 20s

My friend and I felt safe to share past hurts and experiences and found we shared a common past. It deepened our sisterhood and also inspired both of us to share more of what God has done and is doing in our lives, especially to women around us. A, 20s

It was a bit scary, and it took courage. It was rewarding. There was relief and healing in the sharing. A, 30s

During the process, I was struggling with a thought that I shared with my older sister in Christ who I walk in the light with. Immediately she responded, “That’s not your thought—I know you! That thought is in total contrast to the things you are continuously talking about!” Because I shared this thought, I was able to realize right away that it was a thought from the enemy and not my own. R, 30s

When asked “How did it feel to share vulnerably during the 55 Day PureHeart Challenge?” this was what one Japanese woman shared: Because my friend opened up so much, I was able to open up. She also didn’t judge but kept saying, “Let’s ask God what he says.” It became a very safe place for me. I had a traumatic experience before when I shared my sin with a Christian friend. She judged me and I still haven’t heard from her. Before this, I really had not experienced other Christians sharing so openly, so I never learned how to share vulnerably or listen to others. You can talk with confidence when you have someone like [my missionary friend] who is open to hear your story. Like [my missionary friend], if you just listen, don’t judge, and remain sensitive to God, you will help people open up little by little. If you are a person like [my missionary friend] who trusts in God and has shared her process of learning to trust him more and more, it makes it easy to open up and share even about areas I don’t yet trust him in and then pray together. I, 40s

Join me in praying, as God teaches us more and more, that it will no longer be rare that people are able to share vulnerably with another Christian and feel safe, but it will be the norm. Walking together in this way is costly—it takes time and requires us to model vulnerability, but it is so rewarding and is discipleship at the simplest level that can multiply across the nations.

And such as we have, we give Japan

In a recent prayer walk through the red light district, I walked through an area where young women were standing, waiting for customers. I watched as a Japanese man in his 30s went from woman to woman to try and negotiate an acceptable price. I saw such thirst in his eyes.

May we (every believer in Japan) know Jesus as the One who quenches thirst so that we can then share this truth with everyone around us in this precious nation.

Lord, may the Christians in Japan be able to say, “Such that I have, I give you . . .”