We need this in Japan!

In March 2020, a worldwide pandemic was declared, and it became more and more clear that COVID-19 wouldn’t be over anytime soon. That was a difficult, challenging time for all of us, and many felt insecure. Additionally, I had my own crisis. A friendship that might have turned into a relationship didn’t, which left me confused, disillusioned, sad, and lonely. As you can imagine, the COVID contact restrictions didn’t help either. I met only my friend Megan once a week in person. Everyone else I met via the computer screen. I was able to continue working, but I did it more dutifully than joyfully. Clearly, I wasn’t well. Each time I met my field leader, I said, “I’m functioning, but I am not well.” We thought maybe a time-out would help, going somewhere to be able to heal. I heard that there was a place like that in Thailand, but, alas, due to travel restrictions, it was out of reach.

The solution

Then my field leader said, “You cannot go to Thailand, but you could go back to Germany early.”

As I heard those words, my heart immediately lifted, and I said, “Yes! That’s what I’d like to do.” Of course, there were things to organize; my teammates from KGK, our boss in Germany, and my sending church had to be informed; replacements for my responsibilities had to be found; but in the end, it wasn’t such a big deal. I left half a year early to go on furlough. Through God’s provision, I found a place to live three weeks before leaving Japan.

Festival for singles

In Germany, there is a national interdenominational singles network called Solo&Co. “Solo” means “alone” and/or “single,” and “&co” means “and company.” The vision of this network is to enable Christian singles to live their lives to the full. In autumn 2020, two weeks after my arrival, the three-day Solo&Co Festival would take place. The topic was “Love LIFE” (perhaps better translated “Love Living”). I decided to attend. It was a miracle that this was allowed to happen in the midst of COVID restrictions.

Although about 150 people were attending, we were put into groups of about six people. We shared accommodation and ate together and sat together in this group—no masks required; hugs allowed. With everyone else, we had to keep a 1.5 m distance and wear masks. The groups were color coded, and my group was sunshine yellow (Sonnengelb). What a great color to express “living the full life.”

It was amazing! I connected immediately with the other people in my group, which included a divorcée, a widow, and four “classical singles” (someone who has never been married). We swapped life stories, went for walks together, wiped tears, gave hugs, and encouraged each other outside of the sessions.

As I was sitting in the sessions surrounded by over one hundred other people who were all single, I was greatly encouraged. Here it was so normal to be single. And all these people were living normal lives. It wasn’t some sort of self-help group but a gathering of singles. Suddenly the thought came into my head: We need this in Japan!

This was empowerment in its purest essence! Though it might be true worldwide, it seems that Japanese singles suffer from a minority complex. One is seen as abnormal; everyone wishes, prays for, and hopes that we get married.

Solo&Co Singles Network

The Solo&Co movement in Germany started when Astrid Eichler, a single pastor, was asked to write a book on singleness. She called it There Must Be Something Else, feeling there must be some other message for singles than just “I hope you get married one day.” Marriage cannot be the only hope for singles. In churches, there are many sermons on the topic of marriage, but I have never heard a message on singleness. On desiringgod.org, you can find an article that includes this sentence: “I do believe in purgatory. It’s called Christian singleness.”¹

The fact is Christian singles have needs that are unique to them. They also have fears, insecurities, challenges, and temptations. How do we address them? There must be another message than “I hope you get married one day,” as if that will solve their problems.

Solo&Co in Germany experiments with different things. The challenge is how to find constant, reliable, and committed fellowship and relationships outside of marriage. Two singles might move closer to each other and meet once a week for breakfast. Another single is adopted by a family and joins them on their yearly vacation. They hold informal meetings in all different areas of Germany. If a single moves, he or she can contact Solo&Co and ask where the next group is.

This is not a dating service. On the contrary, the network wants to encourage singles to live their lives to the full—as singles.

In short, this network is great, and I wish we had something like this in Japan. I’m sure there are already people who are involved with and minister to Christian singles. Could they get connected with each other?

I have a dream…

I’m dreaming of a national interdenominational network of and for Christian singles in Japan. As soon as this thought entered my head, though, doubts arose as well: Could it be done? There are fewer Christians in Japan than in Germany. There are far more denominations. Geographically, Japan is not as compact as Germany. Cultural adaptions would have to be made, but which ones? I still have no idea even how and where to start.

This reminds me of a passage from the biography of a missionary to India named Evelyn Brand (1879–1974):

What about the most difficult of her tasks, to win this other mountain range for Christ? How? When? Without another help but Elizabeth and sometimes Ruth, Santoshi or another girl from the Kollies in order to tell the story of the saving Jesus-God, to sing the hymns, show biblical pictures, play Tamil records and pray for converts without ceasing? Were they all just dreams? No! It was a matter of faith, God had promised her long ago, when she had felt weak and torn and had prayed for guidance. “Didn’t I tell you, if you believe you’ll see the glory of God?” (John 11:40).²

I believe with God’s help, in his timing, it is possible. If you work with singles or have a heart for Christian singles and would like to support this vision, please contact me via email. At the JCE7 in September in Gifu, there will be a Salt and Light Group on this topic as well. It would be great if we could meet there.

1. Greg Morse, “Marriage Is Not the Mission,” desiringGod, https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/marriage-is-not-the-mission (April 17, 2017).
2. Dorothy C. Wilson, Mutter Brand—Die Geschichte einer Frau, die für andere lebt (Brockhaus Verlag Wuppertal: 1997), author’s personal translation. Originally published as Climb Every Mountain (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1976).
Photos submitted by author. Sonnengelb is German for Sunshine Yellow.